Why Are People Two-Faced

PLEASE NOTE: I am switching the blog post night to a Monday. There will no blog post next week. The posts will start again on April 1st., 2019. Thank you.

INTRODUCTION: Here we are; another Thursday evening blog post. Our topic for tonight is a request from June, in Colorado. Thanks June. Tonight I am writing about “Why Are People Two-Faced.” I was going to save this for a video blog post. However, I knew if I did that, I could easily become long winded. Keep in mind this does apply to every person. You can figure out who it applies to in your life.

To START: A person who is two-faced, or otherwise known as a back-stabber, is a learned behavior. That means they were not born that way. No one is born with built in jealousy, or wanting to gossip about others. Actually, most people that do that do not wish to hurt the other. Of course, sometimes it is malicious. Before you blow your top or get physical with someone, which by the way, you should not do, remember, this type of behavior is learned from others. That is what learned behavior is. A behavior or personality trait that was learned by watching others, taught in school, or by other means. We all know that no school teaches this behavior. Therefore, it was learned through watching others. It could have been their parents, relatives, friends, and yes, even teachers. With most of the topics I discuss, I could write books about them, so keep in mind these posts are an overview. It is thought that ENVY is innate behavior, the human condition. Innate behavior is something that is hard wired to us from birth. Why does that make sense? Think about it. A child who is playing with his or her toy will not share it with anyone. This happens at a very young age. An age where a child is too young to understand, yet alone learn it from others.

OCCURRENCES: This behavior can occur anytime. It could affect you at work by virtue of your co-workers actions, in a relationship, friendships, family, applying for a job, and others. The phrase so often used is; “I can’t believe they threw me under the bus.” There is it someone talked behind your back, and probably in a way that hurt you. How many times growing up did your best friend throw you under the bus to you significant other? Oh yes, that pissed you off, especially when you found out that your best friend starting dating your ex? Is this scenario limited to young adults in high school? No way, it happens with grown adult. Think about that time a co-worker promised you they were not applying for the same promotion as you. They try to talk you out of applying, or try to get you to have a bad interview. Later, when you did not get the job, you find out that the co-worker that promised they were not applying; received the promotion. There are so many examples. However, this leads us to discuss why.

Types: There are many variations of this behavior. The two most common are ENVY and JEALOUSY. Many people confuse the meaning since they are very close. This confusion is because envy starts at a much earlier age than jealousy. As people get older, the two meanings are easily mixed. Many times, one leads to the other.

Envy vs. Jealousy. The main difference between envy and jealousy is that envy is the emotion of coveting what someone else has, while jealousy is the emotion related to fear that something you have will be taken away by someone else. (courtesy www.diffen.com)

When you see it spelled out, do you understand the difference? In most cases, the two meaning are misused by most people. Let me give you an example. If an individual is jealous of someone else because that individual owns a nicer car; is NOT jealousy. That is envy. A good example of Jealousy would be if you introduced your partner to your best friend and noticed he or she showed an interest in your partner. That is jealousy. You have a fear that your friend will try to take your partner away from you. I will say this again. These two emotions and personality traits are the most common. However, why do they exist?

THE PROBLEM: Keep in mind they are both learned behaviors. Parents are not trying to raise their children the wrong way, but they have these traits from when they grew up. If no one corrected them, they are only doing what to them is normal. Therefore, type of behavior starts being learned at a very young age, and at home. If you are a parent, how many times did you take a toy away from your child if they would not share it; or punish them? Do you think that was, or is, productive? On that topic, there are many thoughts. In MY OPINION, as a father who raised three children, I never punished them, or took their toy away when that happened. God knows I wanted to, but I knew and believed in my opinion that would only get them angry, and contribute to deepening that behavior. Rather, I would sit them down with their friend and try to help them to understand that sharing is not harmful, nor it is giving away to another something that is yours. I tried to instill in them that sharing is a way of making someone else feel happy. Often times if it was a play date, I would make each of them share something than give it back, thus showing that sharing, does not mean ownership. I am not trying to claim to be an expert on children. I simply believe that method makes sense, and it worked. To this day, none of my children exhibit signs of being envy or jealous, unless someone is deliberately trying to hurt them. In this case, a completely different set of emotions kick in. That is for a different post.

Summary: There you have it, a quick overview why people are two-faced. Wait, we did not talk about being two-faced. Actually we did. Two-aced is not a medical condition. Being overly envious or jealous is. Being two-faced is the product of envy, jealousy, or both, and all this time you thought I was not talking about being two-faced, see how it works?

Please feel free to leave a comment, or browse the site. The second book in my murder mystery trilogy, Life Through A Mirror-The Battle Rages On, was just released. The third and final book in the series is coming in June. Life Through A Mirror-When Murder Calls. That will be followed in September by my love story, When Two Worlds Collide. Oh, and don't forget, A Woman's Fear-Female Abuse. A must read for every woman. Book 1 and all these book are and will be available on all major online bookstores. This year we have branched out and opened a video production company call, Altech Videos. Feel free to click on the name and check us out. Follow me on Facebook - Caesar Rondina Author, Twitter - @caesarrondina, and Instagram - caesarrondinaauthor. Happy reading. Thank you .... Caesar Rondina

PLEASE NOTE: I am switching the blog post night to a Monday. There will no blog post next week. The posts will start again on April 1st., 2019. Thank you.