What Do We Do When We Are At Our Wit's End?
INTRODUCTION:
Don't tell me you have never felt like you are at your wit's end. If you did, I wouldn't believe you. At some time, or many times in our lives, we might feel we are at our wit's end. The End Of Our Rope. STRESS!
First, what the heck does that mean? To feel you are at your wit's means, you are perplexed and unable to think of what to do. You feel you have exhausted every avenue of resolution and are extremely frustrated.
Did you know this term is also used in the King James Version of the Bible, PSalms 107:27? That gives you an idea of how old that saying is. Before I continue, let's establish two known factors. BTW, these two statements are fact. They cannot be disputed.
1. Everything in life is easier said than done. (Using that phrase is just an excuse.)
2. Every problem has a solution. You may not like to solution, but there always is one. (many people suffer from denial)
WHY?
Why do we reach our wit's end? Like it or not, over 80% of the time when we have reached our limit, we have caused it by making a bad choice somewhere along the way. A bad choice is usually a result of not thinking about every aspect of your choices completely. You may have made a quick decision without thinking it through. Many times we are faced with something that sounds good, therefore, we choose it. Later we find out it was a bad choice because we did not look at all the options, or, we did not thoroughly look at the option we chose. It's really that simple, and we all do it. What else do we do? THIS IS A BIGGIE.
Once we reach a point where we feel we are at our wit's end, or at the end of our rope, we do not try to fix it. Rather, we become trapped on a self-momentum merry-go-round.
That is the merry-go-round we create. We continually fuel the ride by complaining about the situation rather than doing something about it, and, what's the first thing we say? IT'S, or, THAT'S EASIER SAID THAN DONE. Don't take this personal. We all do it. God knows how many times I have. As human beings, we fall into the trap of innate behavior. Because that behavior is heard wired to us since birth, we often times fail to recognize it and change it. Making excuses is a learned behavior.
HOW DO WE FIX IT?
There is only ONE way to fix it. You have to break the cycle. I get it, I wasn't born yesterday. Often times we reach this point due to the direct actions of others. Actions we cannot control. These can come from work, home, family, or friends. There are many triggers, but the solution is always the same.
There are two basic forms of communication:
1. The communications we have with others,
2. The communications you have with yourself.
Between the two, the only outcome you have any degree of control on is number 2 which revolves around the concept of having the ability to control your own mind. That only works if can control your own mind. Therefore, what are your options? Well ... I guess you can keep crying, getting upset, losing sleep, and being highly stressed, feel miserable, and constantly argue, or, YOU CAN TAKE CONTROL OF YOURSELF.
To take control of yourself, you must FIRST know what and why you are doing what you are doing. The effect it is having on you, and you MUST want to change the results. Inherently, people always want to change what they don't like, but are not willing to do the work. It's always easier to make excuses. If you really want something that is causing you to be at your wit's end, you MUST understand it will require work, and maybe some change on your part.
POSSIBLE RESOLUTIONS:
Regarding item 1, try to communicate with the source, but knowing going in, you cannot control them, and they probably will not change. It is extremely rare when someone actually identifies or admits to themselves they are causing a problem. Therefore, you may need to focus on item 2.
This is where a bit of reverse psychology can go a long way. Most people who cause you to reach your wit's end are people that like to hear themselves speak. They want everything their way. They may be slightly bi-polar, but they are definitely suffering some type of issue.
Think back when you were a teenager, and your parents gave you the lecture every time you walked out the door to go out. Most times it ended in an argument, possibly spoiled your good time, and when you left the house, did you listen? Of course, not. You left and did what you wanted to. After this happened many times, you realized that arguing with them got you nowhere, made you stressed, and not enjoy yourself. What did you do? You learned to simply go along with everything they said to give them peace of mind. You left the house, and did what you wanted to do. The end result in both cases was the same. You left, and did what you wanted. However, the second way caused you little to no stress.
The people you might be dealing with are probably control freaks. They must feel like they are in control. Therefore, after many attempts to communicate with them to try to make them understand, let them feel like they are in control. Make them think their suggestions are great, and even thank them for it. Really, does it mean that much to you to be right and be constantly be hounded or beat up? The end goal is to get them out of your hair so you can get on with your life, or whatever it is you need or want to do. The issues involved are not the point, it's the resolution that matters. Resolving it is what will reduce or resolve the stress. Isn't the stress of what you need to do enough? Why add to it?
IN CLOSING:
Here we go, I know what you are thinking. It's easier said than done. WRONG! It only appears that way until you learn otherwise and how to overcome it. Think of it this way. When you are driving down the road and come to water across the road, you have two choices. Drive through it, or go a different way. If you choose to drive through it, you lost the right to complain about it when your car stalls in the middle of this lake you thought was shallow.
When you continue to keep going over this issue in your mind, and continue to let it eat at you and consume you, the problem will only get worse, and now you are part of the cause of it. You will never resolve whatever it is you need to resolve. Most things that require change are mind over matter. Using the power of your mind and not letting others control your mind is your key to independence and peace. Along with this comes the responsibility of being responsible to yourself. Not letting things get so out of hand that you reach your wit's end, or, the end of your rope. The time to solve something is when it first starts. Know what and who you are up against and pick the path to resolution. Problems in life have a snowball effect. As the snowball rolls along untouched, it gets larger. Once it gets too large, you can no longer stop it. If you continue to stand in its way, eventually, it will consume you. Life is a simple matter of watching and identifying what is ahead of you and planning your path. If not, you will only become one of the victims in the snowballs path. Thank you ... Caesar Rondina
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