Round One Is In The Books - What did you think? Will there be more?

INTRODUCTION:

Greetings. I wanted to give everyone two weeks for the first presential debate to sink in. Some of you may have formed your opinions that night, while others may need time to think about it. It was pretty clear to me, and I didn't need time to form an opinion. Many have made their choice by now, but I always keep an open mind because anything can happen. I believe in giving people the benefit of the doubt and will always listen to what they say before I make a choice. In this case, I have heard enough. Let's look at a couple of points.

WHAT INSTILLS CONFIDENCE IN PEOPLE:

Generally, two things make us choose between two people: if we like what they say and they make us feel confident. Confidence is a trait that often determines the success and satisfaction individuals experience in different facets of their lives—be it personally, socially, or professionally. It is the belief in one's abilities and judgment, which can be fostered through various experiences, relationships, and environmental factors. Understanding what instills confidence in people can help us cultivate this crucial trait in ourselves and those around us.

First, we have Self-Awareness. At the core of confidence lies self-awareness—the conscious knowledge of one's own character, feelings, motives, and desires. Self-aware individuals understand their strengths and weaknesses, which allows them to navigate challenges with a clearer perspective. Here's how self-awareness can instill confidence:

Identifying Strengths and Weaknesses: By knowing what they excel at and what areas need improvement, individuals can focus on their strengths and leverage them in various situations. This knowledge also enables them to seek assistance in areas where they feel less competent.

2. Setting Realistic Goals: Awareness of one's abilities helps in setting achievable goals. When these goals are met, they reinforce a sense of accomplishment and build confidence.

3. Embracing Authenticity: Being true to oneself allows individuals to act genuinely, reducing the fear of judgment from others. This authenticity fosters a sense of belonging and, consequently, confidence.

Secondly comes skills development and mastery. Acquiring new skills and honing existing ones can significantly boost self-assurance. Mastery brings a sense of competence that is foundational to confidence. Here's how skill development contributes to this:

Continuous Learning: Engaging in lifelong learning encourages growth and adaptability. As individuals gain new knowledge, they feel more equipped to handle various situations, from workplace challenges to social interactions.

2. Practice and Repetition: Confidence often stems from practice. Whether it's public speaking, sports, or any other skill, familiarity through repetition can reduce anxiety and enhance self-esteem.

3. Achievements and Milestones: Accomplishing specific tasks or reaching milestones provides a tangible acknowledgment of one's abilities, reinforcing a sense of effectiveness and self-worth.

Next comes positive relationships and social support. The role of relationships in instilling confidence cannot be overstated. Social interactions greatly influence self-esteem and self-efficacy. The following factors illustrate how positive relationships contribute to confidence:

Encouragement and Validation: Supportive friends, family, and colleagues can provide verbal affirmations and encouragement that validate an individual's worth. This affirmation can have a profound effect, especially when facing challenging situations.

2. Role Models and Mentorship: Observing and learning from confident individuals can motivate others to emulate similar behaviors. Mentors can provide guidance, share experiences, and offer constructive feedback, fostering greater self-efficacy.

3. Safe Environments for Expression: Environments that encourage open dialogue and self-expression allow individuals to voice their thoughts and feelings without fear of ridicule. Feeling heard and understood can boost self-confidence.

Now comes a positive mindset and self-talk. The way individuals think about themselves greatly influences their confidence levels. Cultivating a positive mindset and nurturing encouraging self-talk can create a robust foundation for confidence. Here's how:

Challenging Negative Thoughts: Cognitive distortions and negative self-talk can erode confidence. Recognizing and challenging these thoughts allows individuals to replace them with empowering affirmations reinforcing self-belief.

2. Visualization Techniques: Many successful individuals use visualization techniques to imagine themselves achieving their goals. This mental practice can prepare the mind for success, translating into actual confidence in real-world scenarios.

3. Mindfulness and Resilience: Practicing mindfulness helps individuals remain present and reduces anxiety about future outcomes. Resilience, the ability to bounce back from setbacks, is another critical aspect of maintaining confidence despite challenges.

Lastly, we have to take risks and embrace failure. Confidence is often built through experiences, including both successes and failures. Taking risks can enhance self-assurance in the following ways:

Stepping Out of Comfort Zones: Engaging in new experiences can expand one's horizons and build confidence in unfamiliar situations. Each small risk taken lays the groundwork for greater self-assurance in the future.

2. Learning from Failures: Understanding that failure is part of learning can change an individual's perception of setbacks. By viewing challenges as opportunities for growth, people can develop resilience and a more profound sense of confidence.

3. Adapting to Change. Embracing change, rather than fearing it, instills a sense of control over one's circumstances. Confidence grows when individuals believe they can navigate uncertainties effectively.

BODY LANGUAGE HELPS US TO UNDERSTAND:

Understanding body language is the key to knowing whether a person is confident. It plays a vital role in life and public speaking. Body language is a form of nonverbal communication that plays a crucial role in conveying thoughts, feelings, and intentions without using spoken words. It encompasses a wide range of physical behaviors, including gestures, postures, facial expressions, and even the tone of voice. Understanding body language can enhance personal interactions, improve relationships, and provide insights into the emotional states of others.

Body language is a universal form of communication that transcends cultural and linguistic barriers. It can express emotions that words might not capture, offering a more nuanced understanding of a person's true feelings. Research indicates that up to 93% of communication can be nonverbal, demonstrating body language's significant impact on interpersonal interactions.

The face is one of the most expressive parts of the human body. It can convey many emotions, often more accurately than spoken language. Key facial expressions include:

- Happiness: Smiling is a universal sign of happiness. It involves contracting specific facial muscles, particularly around the mouth and eyes.

- Sadness: Frowning or downturned lips often indicate sadness. A furrowed brow can also signal concern or grief.

- Surprise: Widened eyes and raised eyebrows typically signify shock or astonishment.

- Anger: Tightened lips, narrowed eyes, and a furrowed brow can indicate frustration or rage.

- Disgust: A wrinkled nose and raised upper lip are common indicators of distaste.

Gestures are intentional movements of the body, particularly the hands, that can communicate specific messages. They can vary significantly across different cultures. For example:

- Thumbs Up: In many Western cultures, this gesture indicates approval or success, while in other cultures, it may have offensive connotations.

- Nodding: Typically conveys agreement or acknowledgment, while shaking the head indicates disagreement.

- Open Hands are often seen as a sign of honesty and openness, showing that one has nothing to hide.

Posture and Body Orientation**

A person standing or sitting can betray their comfort level, interest, or confidence. Key aspects include:

- Open vs. Closed Posture: An open posture (e.g., arms uncrossed, leaning slightly forward) suggests openness and receptivity, while a closed posture (e.g., arms crossed, leaning back) may indicate defensiveness or discomfort.

-Mirroring: Subtly mimicking another person's posture can create feelings of empathy and rapport, which are often seen in positive interactions.

- Proxemics: This term refers to the use of personal space. Different cultures have varying norms regarding the ideal distance between individuals during interaction, which can affect comfort levels.

Eye contact is a powerful element of body language that conveys attention, interest, and involvement. The duration and intensity of eye contact can have different meanings:

- Sustained Eye Contact often indicates confidence, sincerity, and interest. However, excessive eye contact can be perceived as confrontational.

- Avoidance of Eye Contact may suggest discomfort, deceit, or disinterest. Cultural factors must be considered, as in some cultures, avoiding eye contact is a sign of respect.

Touch can communicate a variety of messages. Touch can convey support, warmth, or affection, but it can also be uncomfortable if it violates personal boundaries:

- A Firm Handshake: Generally signifies confidence and professionalism.

- A Gentle Touch on the Arm: Often conveys empathy and understanding.

- Invasion of Personal Space: This can make individuals feel anxious or threatened, depending on the context and relationship.

Body language is critical for any public speaker to understand and utilize properly. Improper use can send the wrong message to the other person or others watching. Let's talk about the debate.

THE DEBATE:

As I always state, everyone has their own opinion and the right to those opinions. Opinions are neither right nor wrong. They are only a person's opinion and should be respected by all. I noticed each candidate's demeanor during the debate, especially their body language. This section is my perception of what I watched. I believe it came down to three significant points.

The moderators did not do as good a job as CNN's moderators in the first debate. I do not think they pushed Kamala Harris on critical issues and allowed her to continue deflecting from them while pushing Donald Trump harder to answer specific questions.
In my opinion, Kamala Harris's actions were unprofessional. She stood there and made ridiculous faces at her opponent to distract from his statements and draw attention to herself.
In fairness, I also thought that Donald Trump was not as effective in getting his message across as he is at his rallies. At times, in his response, Donald Trump should have challenged her to answer specific questions to define her position on her policies. Although, the best part of his performance was his closing statements.

Within these areas, we did not learn much more about Kamala Harris, her policies, or how she plans to achieve what she claims she will do. With her history of flip-flopping on so many issues, she should have made herself perfectly clear without doubts about her policies and how she would achieve them. She failed tremendously in that area. Although Donald Trump maintained his composure for the most part, she was baiting him, and he was starting to take the bait. I did not expect to see that. I felt he would be more disciplined and, as stated, address her directly to answer some questions.

However, what we did hear from Kamala Harries was much about how she was raised, which is irrelevant to the purpose of this debate. It was obvious that most of her prep during the week was tailored towards dodging answers, which she did well. I did expect a bit more from Donald Trump. By that, I mean sticking to the facts and the actual numbers regarding his accomplishments versus the Biden administration.

Some say Kamala is only the Vice President and did not have any say in what has happened during this administration for the past three and one-half years. Yet, regarding the Afghanistan mess, she was proud to say she was the last one in the room and agreed with Joe Biden's plan. She was also in charge of the border and could have made many suggestions but failed to make any. Supporting a bill in Congress after three years of being part of an administration that caused a mess at our southern border is NOT an accomplishment. She was also the tie-breaking vote on two bills that cost the taxpayers trillions of dollars. Therefore, I don't buy the theory that she had no say. If that were true, why would she even participate in any meetings?

I will not call this debate a waste of 90 minutes. However, for those looking to learn more about Kamala Harris, you probably wasted 90 minutes. For the past two weeks, both sides have claimed victory. That is to be expected. The victory will be decided on Nov. 5th.

IN CLOSING:

I waited two weeks to post this to allow the dust to settle down. The polls will continue to vary, but we should not cast our vote based on polls. The media networks will continue to pick their sides and push one candidate or the other. Nothing in life will change. I do not think this debate changed the base of either candidate and may not have done much to sway the undecided. Time will tell.

I have always stated that I watch many news networks because I like to hear both sides. This is a must with the biased media we have in today's world. However, I was watching FOX News and listened to a GREAT suggestion. Let each candidate pick a moderator to question their opponent. I think that would be the best debate in history. There would be no bobbing and weaving and no distracting answers. Hold the candidates accountable for answering the questions asked. I wonder if both Donald Trump and Kamala Harries would agree to such a debate?

As I stated, we have a unique opportunity here. We get to see and remember what we had under Donald Trump and what we have under a Biden/Harris administration. It is not just a phrase but the truth and the right question to be asked and answered.

Are you better off today than you were four years ago?

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Be safe, stay well, and focus on being happy. And remember to always: